Que La Chinga: Am I Doing?
Note: Hmm...Well I was working on a blog and saved it as a "draft" when ta-da Blogger fucked up and it is gone so I now must start again...Oh the horror. All my musing gone, gone forever.

I truly, as the title says, don't know what the fuck I am doing. Seriously. I don't have a slights idea of what I am doing in this place. I am lost. I know in the long run I want to be a director, a filmmaker; however, it seems that I am descending in to this never ending pit of despair. I know that it is not depression, not the temporary syndrome of lose serotonin. I know that it is not just this geographical location that I am in, it is my entire frame of mind that is causing this "despair". I feel trapped; yet, I cannot tell if it is others who are trapping me or myself. I can't quite decided what to do in this type of situation. I do know that my problem is deeply rooted in absence of a "connection" or "connections." To aid in your understanding.....

Let me relate an anecdote that poses a somewhat interesting conundrum. I was sitting, speaking with a friend in a library a few days ago when quite suddenly, and multiple times at that, we where passed by a very attractive women. Now this chick had the three BBB (think about it is an acronym). My friend leans over to me after the third passing and asks, "so, how do YOU think one goes about getting a chick like that?" I just look at him. For it is my experience that most chicks who are "attractive" are quite boring. That situation really does pose an interesting question: "How does one "get" an "attractive" women?" The question can be answered simply, act fake. I am serious completely misrepresenting ones self is the way to the quick fix. It is rather unethical but look at the state of affairs or country and world is in so don't talk to me about ethics.

Now you are asking: "what does this have to do with Erin and his "pit of despair?" You are also probably saying "oo pits of despair sounds fun, is the water warm?" It has everything to do with me and quite abit to do with you too.

Throughout our lives, we are faced with not just problems that we must fix, but solutions as well. Through the finding out the solutions to our problems and then fixing we are somehow supposed to "learn" and add that to our stock pot of life knowledge, or some crap like that. I, on the other hand, think that it is all a load of new age hooey. In relating this to my situation, I have the perfect solution to my problem.

LEAVE

This seems like the best possible solution to the problem. I have no idea why it would not be beneficial; however, I would lose my 99 dollar initiation fee at HealthSport, that would piss me off. I might miss some people, though I can always foster new relationships with new people wherever I go; if I go. And you never know those new relationships could be far superior to those of this day in age. One never knows.

And where is the sex, in this post, you ask? Lost. It will be found in post, in a galaxy far far away in the not so distant future.

I probably had more to say, but I think I forgot it in between the afros and the bellbottoms. Oh one more thing on a positive note. We always try to end on a positive note. I am writing again. Not just blogs, but film scripts and poetry. This my friend is an excellent thing.

In closing, I love the name Amalia (pronounced aa-maa-lee-a). You will find it popping up in my scripts from now on, if you get to read them that is.

Brought to you by: Erin and The Committee to Promote Cynicism.


- posted by Erin @ 1:47 AM |